.Thursday, January 01, 2009 ' 11:57 AM Y
pon...and...zi
2008 is finally over, it wasn't a good year as there were too much happenings that occured.
Army, relationships, money and etc.
Well, 2009 has come, i really hope that it will be a better year..
The 2008 concluded with a very bad way for me.. Bel... doesn't wants me anymore..
I book out yesterday, telling myself not to tink of her, not to call her. But my heart just miss her badly.. i know she was at boonlay countdown, i went down there eventually..
i was hoping that i could see her.. talk to her.. so i call her.. she said she's standing beside the stage but was busy.. moments later, the countdown starts, 2009 has arrived.. fireworks display started and i was thinking to myself, one year back, i was spending the new year with her.. one year later, i am spending it, without her..
i went to the back of the stage.. and i saw her.. i was squeezing in the crowd.. trying to take a few glimspe of her.. i called her again, it was too noisy and she wasn't able to listen to wad i say.. happy new year was the words i heard from her.. and then we hang upthe phone.. it's time to go ... i walked away feeling so miserable. i feel so empty in my heart..
i called her sister, telling her that her jiejie doesn;t wan me anymore.. and informing her to take care of bel.. she told me that if bel's mine, she will come back to me eventually..
i dunno abt that.. i know that my chances are very very low.. she has moved on .. without me... shoud i let her go..? everybody is telling me to let her go since it's over.. but deep down in my heart , i know that i dun wanna give up just yet.. i dun wanna lose her.. i need her ..
yes, it will be painful for me.. i know.. but i can't stop myself from loving her.. i know there's totally nothing i can do to win back her heart.. but to pray for miracles to happen.. i know many ppl will think that i am dumb..
i will be just like wad i did yesterday, being a shadow of you, looking at you, loving u but hiding at the corner, not obstructing you to your new life.. just wanna see the happiness in ur smile.. and that will be my new year resolution.
