I have no choice but to accept the fact that it's impossible for her to come back to me anymore.. i did all the wrong stuff.. i left her.. i went to find another gal.. and i want her back again .. i tink she feels that i treat her like anything.. i wan i take .. dun wan .. put a side..

i dun really know what's running through my mind the other time.. i was feeling not loved at all by her.. as she was busy with her attachment and stuff as well.. there are so many things in my head at that moment.. i just need sometime alone.. but i couldn't find the time.. in the end.. i made a stupid choice by leaving her.. Yes. after i left her i do enjoy myself with my frens.. but deep down something in my heart is missing..

den.. i went to find joyce for love.. which i thought joyce was the one .. better than her.. but through all my army and sad times.. i found out that it was only bel.. only her can be my support.. one who knows how to take care of me.. one who understand me inside out... one who i have when i am in need.. but.. now i no longer have her..

i dun understand why ppl only learns when they are in need, in bad times.. they only realise who are the ones who love them .. i am one of those.. who din cherish the love given but treat it like nonsense..

it's been almost half a year since we break up.. lots of holding and pulling back through these months.. but now.. she has moved on.. one decision i tink it is good for her coz i know i am now regard as one who hurt her so deep.. she wanted to spend her life with me initially... but i gave up on her.. causing her to go through lots of misery which i shudn't have let..

in some ways, i know i've changed her life.. she wanted to be a tour escort.. but because of me.. she chose to be a events excutive.. she gave up what she wants to do for me.. and me? i only gave up on her.. i owe her lots of things in her life.. no matter how much happiness or even oreo(dog) i have given her.. i know it will never make up for the pain that i cause her to suffer..

in camp.. i cried everynight.. not because i am not a strong guy or anything.. but it's just that i always feel so empty without her.. i am suffering through all the pain she once go through.. the pain which the one u love so much isn't coming back to u anymore..

i wanted to move on.. but i can't let go of her.. she's always a baby in my heart.. someone i have to take care of.. someone for me to love.. someone i need to give happiness to..

no matter what, she has moved on.. so must i .. i dun wanna drag anyone into this thing.. i have implicate lots of my friends into this.. thanks to all the ppl who have listen to my sorrows, accompany me drinking.. talking me to sense that she will never come back to me.. telling me that i will only suffer if i continue like this..

i need to move on as well.. and i know i will.. i know i have cause her enough pain.. and the only way to give her happiness now is to let her go.. let her find someone who can really treat her with all the love and respect that she needs..

as for me.. i just have to finish my army days, finish my degree.. in the meanwhile.. enjoying with all my friends.. i don't wanna get into another relationship just yet.. cause i know.. the space in my heart that she have left behind, no one could ever cover it.. only time will heals.. and i know it will take a v long time..

once again.. sorry baby
zW

Yu Zheng Way, Wayne aka Eebah Eebah
Age: 20
Single
Going to Army!