.Saturday, October 04, 2008 ' 6:37 AM Y
pon...and...zi
5 days left.. seriously lil time remaining..
found out that she loves her bf a lot.. and her bf is suggesting for becoming frens.. i really do not know what to do.. it's never abt me .. i shouldn't have care..
but i cares for her.. i wan her to be happy.. that's why i give her the advice i tink is right.. not to regret abt the decision shes going to make.. she said she will call me .. but never did, mayb she have sort out her feelings..
if she and her bf is back to normal.. i wish them a happy and long lasting relationship.. that's the only ting i can do.. not even thinking abt telling her my feelings as she is really not in the right situation to know..
To Gary: YOU BETTER TREAT HER NICELY!
well.. i have put myself into this hole.. for nothing.. so no point blaming anyone but myself.. i should never have try.. but since it has already happen.. i will try to put it behind me.. but i dun tink i can forget her juz like tis.. 1st week of army is going to be hell..
why.? coz alan has confirm with me that i am in Cougar. the most high demanding company in School 1 BMT. plus, i will still miss her, tink abt her everyday everynight.. how shit can it be to start my army life..
but yea, i know i can take it.. face it as i always do.. but it's juz so hurtful.. why i put myself into this position for nothing. all along u treat me as a fren .. someone who helps u and support u thru the hard times.. but never the one u will want as ur partner.. i know i am dumb.. to have fall in love with you
i could have play as a bad guy.. breaking u and him up.. but that's not me.. i always believe that is not just abt what i wanna get.. i really rather i end up being the one hurt than making u hurt.. since u love him so much .. i'll really pray for both of u.. coz i wan u to smile .. always..
i want to cry, but tears juz can't roll out.. my chest is feeling the tightness.. i have hope for nothing much .. but why is it still so painful.. why am i feeling so shit.. is it becoz i really fall in love with u so much.. or is it jus me being stupid.. i really dunno..
but whateva it is.. this is the outcome.. i tried so hard to make sure u stay happy, with support.. but u never notice that i have feelings for u .. that's why i am suffering.. but even if u know.. i know i wouldn't stand a single chance..
all the best for u and gary.. hopefully both of u have settled it out and love each other like before.. and for me.. nvm .. it's never abt me..
