I tink i am ruining my life.. hais.. why ? i not sure.. i been spending time doing things i like but not very benificial to my future.. like wad? playing all day .. not improving myself but doing things tt just bring temporal entertainment to me.. I am afraid , come to tink of it, i should be more discipline about my life.. but no matter what, my playful part still took control of me. What can i do? i am afriad to get discipline coz eventually i may not be doing things i love to.

What's my aim in life? just earning myself certs and get a goof basic pay ? or aiming high in life and do well? i really do not know. Everyday seems like a day wasted when i tink about my future, but everyday seems to be wisely use when i tink of satisfaction. How? This is obviously a bad sign. It shows that i am not looking forward for my future which i should. No matter what, i feel irony about everything i do. Should i stop?

Another thing is she's always hovering around in my mind. I miss her, yet i do nothing to get her. Is not that i have not done anything before but is just tt i have no confidence in myself. Is already dampen to the lowest whereby it takes either a miracle or a very strong courage for me to pick myself up agin and win her hearrt... my buddies tells me to go for her.. but shud i? i am still holding back coz is hard for me to hear the same answer again from her. She's totally not interested in me. How to i win her heart, make a feel something abt me. Dun ask me to forget her, if i do forget her, it just temporary , coz the next thing i know, i still have lots of feelings for her.

Damn it, i am so depressed whenever i tink abt it, but i have no answer to this problem. I can't back out, neither can i go for it. This is so unbearable. Motivation and encouragement is much needed. Even if she can be my gf for a day, i am sure tt day will be the happiest dayof my 18 yrs. Some may tink i am stupid. why let go of the forest just becoz of this tree. Let me tell u that this tree is not just a tree , it values much more than the forest. It is a unique tree. A tree which i always feel comfortable and want to rest on . What does it take for me to do to get her habour feelings for me? i know i still need to live my life, and i am not living my life for her. but how wonderful it will be if she is in my life. It just like the rainbow complement with the sky. But right now, it's all dark clouds covering my sky.

By not thinking about it, i know i am just avoiding my relationship issues, and it will come back and haunt me. but after so long, no answers can be found. or mayb there is, whereby i will get hurt hurt so much that i lost my sense of love. Which may not be a good ending for me. how? if things aren't tt difficult, i would slp soundly everyday. hopeful for the ending to be a great one, just like fairy tale. But everyone know fairytale are just fiction. In reality, it takes more than just fairytale, need to over come obstacles and tribulations then u get what u want, further more, reality is cruel, after all the effort , u may end up with nothing. mayb just the process of pursuing. I dun wish to end up tt way.

-YzW- i need confidence to get the right answers!

Yu Zheng Way, Wayne aka Eebah Eebah
Age: 20
Single
Going to Army!